Searching for the Answers Read online

  With my awkward entrance out the way, I begin to make my way towards the table, sitting down, and looking at Lucien expectantly. “Please tell me there’s something for me to eat? I’m fucking starving!” He chuckles as he walks to the oven, pulling out a few trays loaded with enough food to feed an army, and I smile at him gratefully as he places the trays on the table, before grabbing plates for all of us.

  When everyone’s seated, I turn to my new mate to ask the all-important questions. “Okay, you wanted to talk. Well, everything that we need to talk about can be done in front of the guys. You all need to learn how to trust each other if this shit is going to work, and you need to show us that we can trust you. So there are a few things we need to know. Firstly I’ve been rude as hell, excuse the pun. What’s your name? I would really like to stop calling you my mystery mate in my head, I feel like a bitch for not asking sooner. Secondly, what type of angel are you? To be fair, that one is just my curiosity, I’m still learning everything I can about the supernatural world. And lastly, why the fuck were you with that bitch, Sarah? That shit really doesn’t help your credibility, I don’t know how you can expect me to welcome you with open arms when you showed up here with her.”

  He turns to me with an appreciative smile for breaking the silence, and takes a moment to compose himself before answering. “I’ll start from the top with your questions. My name’s Aziel, and I’m a Phoenix shifter. I can explain a little bit more about what exactly that means later when we have more time, and you're not still recovering from being kidnapped. I feel the most important thing for me to explain is why I was with your mom.” I send him a scathing look, and he looks away from me with a blush, clearing his throat. “Sorry, I meant to say Sarah, I get why you wouldn’t want me to refer to her as your mom. The reason I was with her though, was because I did something really stupid, and it got me into trouble with the Archangels. My punishment for my crime was to be Sarah's new guard after they found out that she was sexually involved with her last one, and that he wasn’t the first one she managed to seduce. With her being Archangel Gabriel’s daughter, it was only her guards that were punished, though I don’t really see how that would teach her anything. I plan on getting in touch with them right away to let them know that I found my mate, and therefore can’t continue my duties. I’m probably going to be in quite a bit of trouble, but I think that you could be worth that. I’m not Sarah’s friend, in fact, I fucking hate being around her, the woman is infuriating, and quite frankly disgusting.”

  I look at him in shock, does that mean that most of my mother’s ex-partners were actually angels, sent to watch over her? For fucks sake, that's all I needed. All my fucking horrendous step-dads were fucking angels. Now I can actually believe what the guys told me about some angels being the vilest creatures alive. I know I’ve learned a lot about how my heritage doesn’t define me as a person, but it was still hard to fully grasp, we’re brought up to believe that angels are the good guys, but this really ruins the illusion.

  “Were any of them the ones who hurt me? Were they punished for the things they did to a fucking child? Or do angels have absolutely no fucking moral compass? Does my grandfather even know what those sick fucks did to me?” I feel the anger bubbling up inside of me, as I wait for his answer, though judging by the look on his face, I can tell that I’ve shifted to my demon form. I don’t really give a shit about that right now though, I need fucking answers! I really don’t want to believe that any more of my flesh and blood were complacent in her actions towards me, but knowing the truth is more important than protecting my feelings.

  I can tell that I’m not going to like his answers, and that look alone causes hellfire to start crackling over my skin. I try to calm myself down, not really wanting to set my kitchen on fire because of my pathetic excuse of a family, that is until he starts talking. “I really don’t want to be the one to tell you this angel, but your grandfather didn’t care what the guards did to you, he only saw you as an abomination. His words, not mine! When he explained to me that your mom had a child, he didn’t speak kindly of you. I won’t lie to you, it really pissed me off how he talked about his own kin, but I’m not an Archangel so my words would have meant nothing to him. As far as I’m aware, their punishments were lessened as a reward for what they did to you.”

  Redness begins to cloud my vision, and I can barely catch my breath. What’s with my fucking family, I really won the lottery with them! I jump to my feet storming from the room, and out the back door, I’m fucking done with this shit!

  Aziel

  Why the fuck did I have to be so honest with her? I knew finding out what her grandfather thinks of her would hurt her, yet I had to go and open my big fucking mouth! Honestly, I don’t understand why I’m being so abrupt with her. Though it could be the fact that we’re brought up to hate demons, but you’re not supposed to hate your mate! I guess it could also be the fact that I’m worried about what the Archangels are going to do to me when they find out that my mate is the fucking hybrid girl that they are so freaked out over, for one thing, I know it’s going to be far from fucking pleasant. Still, I shouldn’t take that out on her, she didn’t ask for any of this.

  I remember when I was growing up, there was a rumor that one of the seers foretold of a hybrid who would unite us all. No one believed that shit though, and the Archangels did a great job of burying the truth. None of us could have guessed that she would turn out to be Gabriel’s granddaughter! When he finds out that I’ve met her, and that I know the truth, the consequences are not going to be good! Then again, nothing to do with that bastard is good, he’s a twisted fuck, and how he treats his own blood is proof enough of that.

  All I know is, I can’t leave her feeling like this, I barely know her yet already my gut feelings are telling me that I have to protect her, even if that means going against my own kind. If the seers were right, then she’s really fucking important. I could've never dreamed of a world where we’re all united, but with how bad the conflict between both sides has gotten, I know that we fucking need it before we tear the world apart. It’s already gotten to the point where humans are being dragged into our wars, and if Gabriel is rewarding people for hurting a child, then my own kind has fallen further than I would ever want to believe.

  I hop to my feet ready to follow Lilith, until a tight grip settles on my arm, pulling me to a stop. Turning my head, I find Demetrius growling up at me from his seat, he’s one scary fucking dude, so you better believe I’m shitting a brick right now. “Where the fuck do you think you're going arsehole? You’re the one that made her so fucking angry, there’s no way I’m letting you go piss her off even more. She doesn’t have a tight grip on her powers yet, and I ain't letting you make her so mad that she does something she regrets!”

  Sighing, I let my shoulders slump in defeat. I know he’s right, but the thought of leaving her like this has my gut clenching. I really fucking need to arrange to speak with one of the Archangels though, the longer I wait the worse their reaction will be, especially seeing as I’ve left Sarah unguarded, I give him a nod as I shrug out of his grip, walking out to the hallway, and pulling my phone from my pocket.

  I dial Gabriel’s number, my stomach twisting itself in knots. I really don’t want to call at all to hear the usual bullshit from the elitest arsehole, but I need to make my stance clear when it comes to Lilith. He answers the phone in his usual brisque way. “What the fuck do you want, dirty goddamn phoenix? Don’t think just because your family actually used to mean something, that I’m going to go easy on you if you’ve fucked something up. You have one job, watch my fucking daughter without sticking your goddamn dick in her. It’s not hard!”

  I roll my eyes at his bullshit, like seriously he always has to get his dig in about my family, he really shouldn’t forget that I’m one of the last of my kind and the other Archangels wouldn’t let him do anything to me, he’s not as all-fucking-powerful as he likes to think. Yeah, his brothers are only more respectful because
it makes them look better to our people, but it’s something at least.

  “This isn’t about your whore of a daughter, trust me I wouldn’t go fucking near her if you paid me! I’m calling to let you know that you need to send someone else to guard her, something more important has come up. Before you say it, I know this is supposed to be my punishment, but I really don’t give a fuck what you say anymore. We need to meet to talk, because this shit means more than your pathetic excuse of a daughter!”

  I hear his angry intake of breath, and brace for the bullshit I know is about to come out his mouth. “Who do you think you are? You pathetic piece of shit! Don’t think my brothers will be able to protect you forever! One of these days, I will fucking kill you for your insubordination. I’m in a meeting downtown so you get your arse down here, and don’t keep me fucking waiting! I’m dealing with more important things than an arrogant fucking phoenix! Now get the hell over here then get back to where you’re supposed to be, it’s a simple fucking job that even a useless little shit like you can do!”

  Hearing the line drop, I pull the phone from my ear, feeling the tension drain from my shoulders. Fuck that bastard, I’m sick of listening to him. Lilith is more important than his skank of a daughter, and I refuse to fucking leave her, she needs my protection more than daddy's spoiled little bitch! I turn, storming back into the kitchen to find the others watching the doorway, and brace myself for the inquisition I know is about to happen.

  Thankfully though Lilith chooses that moment to walk back through the door, and I let out a breath of relief as the guys’ attention turns to her. I watch as Gale gets to his feet, walking towards her, and wraps his arms around her waist. I feel jealousy and resentment well up inside me, not necessarily at his attention to her, but because of the fact that right now I can’t touch her like that, without her removing my balls. I understand why she doesn’t trust me, but that doesn’t stop the pain of the rejection I feel. What it does do though, is make me even more determined to earn her trust, I’ll show her that I can protect her, if it’s the last thing I do.

  I turn, leaving the room to go get some fresh air, and give her time with the others. I may be jealous but I’m also determined. I’ll be able to touch her soon enough, all I have to do is prove myself. How hard could that be?

  Lilith

  Watching as Aziel walks from the room, I can’t help the hurt that stabs through me. Isn’t he even going to check that I’m okay before storming off like a fucking toddler? Honestly, what is it with men being so fucking shit at handling women? We ain’t that fucking difficult to deal with! All we ask is that you’re honest with us and treat us as your fucking equal. Instead of storming away like my feelings don’t fucking matter!

  Maybe, he and Demetrius could sit down, and swap notes on how to piss me off. They could take tips from each other, seeing how they’re both so fucking good at it! I know I shouldn’t bring Demetrius into it, but hurt makes you do silly things, and I’m about to make it worse. I step out of Gale’s arms storming away to find Aziel, I’m not going to let him completely disregard me like this!

  I find him sitting at the back door with his head in his hands, and something tells me, it isn’t me who upset him. Sitting down beside him, I wait for him to turn to me, but when he doesn’t my anger fizzles away, and I start to get worried. Here I was getting ready to rip him a new arsehole, and now I’m worrying about what’s got him looking so down. Maybe I can kind of understand why men find women so difficult, with how bipolar I’m being right now. Sometimes I need to remember I’m not the only one going through these massive changes, it’s rather fucking selfish. Lowering my voice, I try to speak to him as gently as possible.

  “Aziel, are you okay? Did something happen with the guys when I wasn’t in the room? Do you want to talk about it? If you don’t, we can totally just sit here in silence if that's what you need.” When I finish rambling, he turns to me with a weak smile, sitting back so he can look at me properly.

  “Sorry angel, I don’t mean to be all gloomy. I had to call your grandfather to let him know that he would have to send someone else to watch Sarah, let’s just say he wasn’t too happy about it. He’s always hated me because I’m one of the last of the phoenix that's left, and my kind are one of the most powerful species of angels, but the way he treats me seriously gets to me. A lot of the angels see my kind as something special, that should be treated as such. Others like your grandfather, believe we mean less than the dirt under their boots! He’s definitely the worst though, he’s tried to have me killed so many times I’ve lost count. Thank fuck his brothers want to look good in front of the other angels, so they always stop him from finishing the job. Never mind my troubles though, I care more about how you feel, I just didn’t want to cause any more shit with the guys, so I thought I’d be better off out here.”

  I feel my anger at my grandfather, but that's not what’s important, what this man beside me has had to put up with is absolutely shocking. I know my mother put me through hell, but at least it was only her, and not a whole group of people, especially people who should be there for you! I reach out, clasping his hand in mine, and the shocked look he gives me devastates me. I really didn’t mean to make him feel like he was unwanted, or make him feel ostricisised. What kind of mate does that make me? I may not fully trust him yet, but that doesn't mean I have to be a complete bitch to him. I don't really know his story, or the shit he's clearly been through.

  If this is the kind of shit he’s had to put up with, no wonder he seems so detached. If it was me, I would be removing heads from shoulders, fuck being disrespected like that, and doing nothing! I guess he’s used to it by now, and that’s why he can keep his cool, but the anger I feel on his behalf is probably enough for the both of us, not to mention the fact that it’s seriously fucked up. Seriously though, why the fuck does he put up with that shit? Isn’t he allowed to live his own life!? Or make his own fucking choices?

  While I’m distracted with these thoughts, Aziel stands, turning his back on me. “I’m going to head out for a bit, but I’ll hopefully be back soon. I’ve got something important I need to take care of.” Before I can even respond, or ask where he has to go that’s so important, he walks away without a backward glance. I can’t believe he just walked away while we were having the first almost normal conversation since we met. Curious about what he’s up to, I begin to follow him as discreetly as possible, which is pretty difficult with my loud ass.

  I watch as he leaves through the front gate, checking over his shoulder - causing me to duck behind the wall of the house - before he turns to head downtown. Where the fuck is he going, and why is he so paranoid about it? It's kind of hard to trust him when he's being hella sketchy, even if I do want to fuck him, I can't let my vagina control my actions! That’s how you’ll end up getting kidnapped again Lilith.

  He takes a right at the end of the street, and I rush my short arse to catch up hoping he doesn't disappear before I get there. Peeking around the corner, finding him half a block away already, holy angel balls this boy is fast! I scuttle around the corner, doing my best to blend in with the crowd, hoping that my lazy arse can keep up. Seriously though, what the fuck does this boy eat, my fat ass was not supposed to travel at these speeds!

  We continue on like this for a few blocks, before reaching the busy part of the city, and I watch as he heads towards a little restaurant across the street. Is this boy for real!? His important shit is going to eat, is he too fucking good for Lucien’s cooking or something? Do angels have three stomachs or some shit, because I could have sworn that he ate the most at breakfast barely an hour ago!

  I quickly check the traffic before following him across the street, and standing at the side of the restaurant's window, peeking inside to find him sitting at a table with a man who looks suspiciously like my mother. Holy shit balls! Is he meeting with my grandfather? I should fucking go in there and give the shithead a piece of my mind! Fucking abusive ass mother fucker, raising his daughte
r to believe its fine to hurt a kid, the man is truly fucking disgusting. Plus this shit is not helping Aziel's case, oh Lilith, you can totally trust me I swear, now I'm off to see your fucktard of a grandfather!

  As I’m standing there, ranting to myself under my breath, I feel an arm wrap around my waist, and just as I’m about to scream a large hand covers my mouth.

  Lilith

  My body tenses, as I hear a sensuous yet slightly mischievous voice whisper in my ear. “Well now little dove, weren’t you ever told it’s rude to spy on people? I’m sure I could come up with something else that could better occupy your time.” The feeling of his hot breath on my ear, and his tongue slipping over the shell of it, sends a shiver rushing through my body. I need to have words with the vulvarine! She should not be getting excited when a stranger is holding me against my will!

  “Now, I’m going to take you around this corner behind us and let you go, but don’t go screaming, or I’ll need to do something with that naughty little mouth of yours. Though I’m sure we’d both enjoy it.” With that, he calmly starts pulling me backward into the alley next to the restaurant. To be honest, it's awkward as fuck shuffling along backwards, braced in his strong arms, I'm not fucking agile enough for this shit! Finally, he lets me go, spinning me around and pinning me against the wall with his hard body. Everything around us seems to grind to a halt, at the feeling of his hard cock pressed up against my stomach, causing my breath to catch, and I tilt my head back to peer up at his handsome face. His chocolate brown eyes are hooded, as he gives me a cocky smile and my eyes are automatically drawn to his plump lips. He has a sexy little bit of growth - more than bumfluff but less than a beard - trimmed to just the right length, where it won't cause stubble burn if you kiss him for a long time. The abs I feel pressed against me through his thin t-shirt feel fucking amazing and I’m lucky my eyes don’t roll back in my skull, I'm definitely starting to believe I'm part succubus, because I could swear that I can smell his pheromones in the air, which is so fucking wrong!